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  I am proving her right every time

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  Sums up my entire philosophy on relationships

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  How old is that human being

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  Yeah man I make pepperoni dicks all day

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  Oh and then I laughed like an idiot

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  The most tactful way I have seen to deter hotel theft

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  I wish this scene was in the movie

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  I do not remember this Arthur book

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  So this smells like napalm in the morning

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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave