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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave

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  Yeah man I make pepperoni dicks all day

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  Seriously do not get upset about this

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  It must be weird if your dad is a legend

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  Sums up my entire philosophy on relationships

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  I am proving her right every time

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  This was my mom when I was in high school

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  Oh look even pigs have more fun than I do

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  Visited my years old grandfather cottage did not know he got a huge bald eagle

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  I do not always talk to girls I like